The Pastor’s Pen

By Felix De Jesus, Old Testament Theology and History

When Ministry Feels Like a Wrestling Match

There’s a sacred mystery in the struggle that many pastors and ministry leaders are reluctant to admit: sometimes, following God doesn’t feel like quiet trust—it feels like a midnight wrestling match. In Genesis 32:22–32, Jacob’s encounter with the divine unfolds not through visions or dreams, but through grit, grappling, and the tearing of flesh. This pivotal moment in redemptive history is not merely about one man’s transformation; it exposes the often-painful pathway of spiritual formation that leaders must travel. Theologically, Jacob’s story invites us to see struggle not as disobedience, but as the context where grace breaks in. The man Jacob wrestled was no ordinary adversary—he was a manifestation of God Himself (Gen. 32:30). As Bruce Waltke observes, “Jacob prevailed not because of physical strength, but because he clung to God with the desperation of faith.”¹ This tenacity is not weakness; it is covenantal faith in motion.

In many ministry contexts, we’re conditioned to equate leadership with strategic clarity, rapid results, and polished performance. But Genesis disrupts those assumptions. Jacob’s limp becomes the ironic emblem of leadership—an enduring reminder that true influence flows not from personal power but divine encounter. Derek Kidner notes that the wound Jacob receives “is the trophy of grace, not the badge of defeat.”² For those called to shepherd God’s people, this scene should provoke reflection: Is it possible that our most transformative ministry moments come not through our control but through our surrender?

Genesis 32 is not simply a biographical episode in Jacob’s life; it is a theological prism through which we interpret pastoral identity. Walter Brueggemann writes, “Jacob’s story offers a paradigm for all who encounter God in the midst of ambiguity, vulnerability, and unresolvable tension.”³ In a vocational world driven by outcomes and optics, Jacob reminds us that proximity to God is often marked by wrestling, not ease. God wounds to bless, weakens to empower, and disrupts to rename. It is here—limping from the encounter—that we, like Jacob, receive not only a new name, but a new understanding of what it means to lead.

Theological Themes of the Encounter

Jacob’s wrestling match in Genesis 32:22–32 is more than a historical narrative—it’s a theologically layered moment that pulses with divine purpose. The scene unfolds at night, in isolation, and through physical struggle, echoing the internal and external tensions that often characterize our own spiritual lives. In this singular event, we find rich theological themes: divine encounter, identity transformation, covenant reaffirmation, human limitation, and redemptive wounding.

First, this is a theophany—an appearance of God. Jacob’s opponent is ambiguously described at first simply as “a man” (v. 24), but by the end, Jacob declares, “I have seen God face to face” (v. 30). This progression from mystery to revelation speaks to the often-veiled ways God engages us. As Tremper Longman writes, “God meets Jacob in a form both familiar and terrifying… disguising His glory to draw out Jacob’s persistence.”¹ For leaders and preachers, this tension reminds us that divine encounters aren’t always accompanied by clarity—they are sometimes veiled in struggle.

Second, the theme of transformation through encounter is central. Jacob enters the night with fear and control—he’s still scheming, sending gifts ahead to Esau, dividing his camp, and hedging his bets (Gen. 32:7–21). But by dawn, the schemer becomes the struggler. He emerges renamed—Israel, “he struggles with God.” This is not just a new name, but a new identity forged in intimacy. Victor Hamilton notes, “Jacob’s name change signals that he is no longer defined by deceit, but by his engagement with God.”² This speaks to the pastoral journey: true leadership requires wrestling with God until the false self is undone.

Third, the covenantal blessing is reiterated. Jacob’s desperate plea—“I will not let you go unless you bless me” (v. 26)—echoes the language of covenant pursuit. The blessing isn’t transactional. It’s transformational. It’s not a prize for winning but a gift that comes only through surrender. Christopher Wright observes, “The biblical notion of blessing is not merely about provision; it is the assurance of God’s presence and purpose in one’s life.”³ In ministry, we often chase metrics and milestones. But here, we are reminded: the real blessing is God Himself.

Lastly, the limp—Jacob’s wound—is symbolic of divine refinement. God disables him physically in order to empower him spiritually. Pastoral ministry has its own limp: it comes from wounds that don’t disqualify us, but deepen us. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Jacob’s story foreshadows that principle. The dislocated hip is not a curse; it’s a sign that he has seen God—and lived.

This encounter confronts us with a God who does not coddle but contends, not to crush us, but to call us. In the wrestling, we are named. In the struggle, we are seen. In the limp, we are marked as those who have been with God.

Jacob as a Paradigm of Ministry Leadership

If ever there were a biblical figure who embodied the paradox of leadership, it’s Jacob. He’s not the obvious choice. He doesn’t start strong. He’s not polished. In fact, most of his early life is marked by manipulation, fear, and control. And yet, this is the man God wrestles with, renames, blesses, and calls “Israel.” For pastors and ministry leaders, Jacob serves not merely as an ancient patriarch but as a paradigm for the formation of spiritual leadership in the crucible of divine encounter.

Ministry leadership in our current culture often rewards charisma over character, success over surrender, and visibility over vulnerability. But Jacob’s story disrupts that narrative. His transformation did not come through platform or pedigree—it came through wrestling. This tells us something vital: leaders are not forged by achievement, but by encounter. As Richard Osmer notes in his framework for practical theology, authentic leadership emerges in the tension between divine grace and human limitation—it’s not about mastery but about formation.¹

Before Peniel, Jacob relied on strategy. He calculated risks, sent gifts, and managed his reputation. But after Peniel, he limps—not just physically, but spiritually. He walks differently. He leads differently. He becomes a reconciler, not just a survivor. In the words of Miroslav Volf, “The self shaped by the cross embraces vulnerability not as defeat, but as participation in God’s redemptive mission.”² This is the kind of leadership that can shepherd people through wilderness seasons—not from a place of power, but from deep dependence.

Jacob’s refusal to let go—“I will not let you go unless you bless me” (Gen. 32:26)—is more than persistence; it’s pastoral. Ministry is, at its core, holding on. It’s holding on to God’s promises even when you don’t feel them, holding on to people even when they walk away, and holding on to hope when the numbers don’t add up. This kind of grip is forged in nights of solitude, not conferences. It’s the secret life behind the sermon.

Moreover, the renaming moment is a leadership moment. “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel” (Gen. 32:28). God gives him a new identity that speaks not only to who he is, but to what he’s called to do. In ministry, our identity must be rooted in being with God, not just working for God. We are not what we produce. We are who we are becoming in His presence. That’s the essence of spiritual leadership.

Walter Brueggemann writes that this narrative teaches us to “trust the dark,” because God meets us in the ambiguity, not always in clarity.³ Pastors need that reminder. When the clarity isn’t there, when the path isn’t linear, when people don’t respond the way you hoped—God is still in the story. And like Jacob, we may emerge changed, wounded, but blessed.

Conclusion: Leading with a Limp

Jacob’s story ends not with dominance, but with dependence. After his wrestling match with God, he walks with a limp—and yet, he walks forward. For pastors and ministry leaders today, that image is both humbling and liberating. The limp doesn’t disqualify us—it marks us. It’s the sign that we’ve encountered God, not just conceptually, but experientially. It reminds us that spiritual leadership flows not from perfection, but from presence. Not our own, but His.

This is the heartbeat of ministry: not in how put-together we look, but in how surrendered we are. Eugene Peterson calls it “a long obedience in the same direction,” a journey marked by faithfulness, not flash.¹ We lead best not by hiding our scars, but by showing that grace can hold them. The Church doesn’t need more polished performers; it needs wounded shepherds who know the cost of wrestling and the joy of being held.

As the apostle Paul says, “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10). This isn’t theological poetry—it’s pastoral reality. Power isn’t found in bravado, but in brokenness surrendered to God. Jacob walked away with a blessing, but it came through clinging, not climbing. That’s a word for every leader who feels like they’re striving in the dark, unsure if they’re still called, still useful, still seen.

So let us lead as those who have wrestled, who have been renamed, and who walk not in our own strength—but in the presence of the One who meets us in the dark, blesses us in our weakness, and calls us forward.

Let us lead with a limp.

Bibliography

Brueggemann, Walter. Genesis: Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching. Atlanta: John Knox Press, 1982.

Brueggemann, Walter. The Message of the Psalms. Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 1984.

Hamilton, Victor P. The Book of Genesis, Chapters 18–50. New International Commentary on the Old Testament. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995.

Kidner, Derek. Genesis: An Introduction and Commentary. Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2008.

Longman III, Tremper. Genesis: The Story of God Bible Commentary. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2016.

Osmer, Richard R. Practical Theology: An Introduction. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2008.

Peterson, Eugene H. A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society. 20th anniversary ed. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2000.

Volf, Miroslav. The End of Memory: Remembering Rightly in a Violent World. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2006.

Waltke, Bruce K. Genesis: A Commentary. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001.

Wright, Christopher J. H. How to Preach and Teach the Old Testament for All Its Worth. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2016.